Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Strange Case of Mr. Ormantude's Bride

  I was just sitting on my front porch, drinking green tea, and reading Ogden Nash's Good Intentions. I came across a poem that made me smile and I just had to share, even though I have already blogged today. :)

The Strange Case of Mr. Ormantude's Bride

Once there was a bridegroom named Mr. Ormantude whose
intentions were hard to disparage,
Because he intended to make his a happy marriage,
And he succeeded for going on fifty years,
During which he was in marital bliss up to his ears.
His wife's days and nights were enjoyable
Because he catered to every foible;
He went around humming hymns
And anticipating her whims.
Many a fine bit of repartee died on his lips
Lest it throw her anecdotes into eclipse;
He was always silent when his cause was meritorious,
And he never engaged in argument unless sure he was so
obviously wrong that she couldn't help emerging victorious,
And always when in her vicinity
He was careful to make allowances for her femininity;
Were she snappish, he was sweetish,
And of understanding her he made a fetish.
Everybody said his chances of celebrating his golden wedding
looked good,
But on his golden wedding eve he was competently poisoned by
his wife who could no longer stand being perpetually understood.

~ Ogden Nash


Tim said...

funny poem. Sounds like he really did not know her very well, but just tried to avoid confrontation :).

The Individual said...

My thoughts exactly Timberely :D

Petra said...

Love the poem. :)